Which Sign Is Totally Smokin' This Week?

WEEK OF OCTOBER 20 - OCTOBER 27

 

MARCH 21 - APRIL 19: The planets are aligning in your favor, so just go with the flow. Actually, just saying the word "flow" makes us kinda have to pee. Maybe it's better to say "see where the tide takes you." (Wait...still a water reference. Excuse us for a sec.)

 

 

 

APRIL 20 - MAY 20
: People will be relying on YOU to comfort them this week. Be a shoulder to cry on, especially if the one doing the crying is a total hottie who just broke up with their significant other! (Sorry, did that sound too gleeful?)

 

 

 

MAY 21 - JUNE 21: Keep wishing on those stars, because one of your dreams is about to be realized. Just don't stare at the sky TOO long — you wouldn't want to hurt your neck now, wouldja?

 

 

 

JUNE 22 - JULY 22: It's almost Halloween and what's REALLY scary is how psychic you've been lately (bet ya already knew we were going to say that). Use your powers of prediction to ask out your crush to the next costume party...what's the harm? You already know they're gonna say yes!     JULY 23 - AUGUST 22: Tests are stressing you out, so zone out with some JoBros' tunes. This week, Jupiter and Neptune will give you a rightful rest period, while Nick, Joe and Kevin will totally boost your mood!      AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22
: Pluto is hovering around your sign (the planet, not the cartoon Disney dog...that would be weird). Basically, it means that your problem will find a solution on its own. And you can just lay back and veg out in front of the tube! Ahhhhh...      SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 23
: Keep your diary as close to you as possible this week with your eyes peeled for any sticky fingers. With all the smack you talk in it, you wouldn't want it to fall into the wrong hands! Like Perez Hilton...LOLZ!       OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 21
: You've been such a social butterfly lately, your wings are getting tired. Keep flappin' them, though — because the next social event you go to, we GUARANTEE there will be someone looking your way who's TOTALLY fly.       NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21: Can't break out of your funk? Well slap yourself upside the head, so that your body can get back that bounce in its step. Just don't hit too hard — you don't want to give yourself a headache.       DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19
: Expect a major shift in a relationship that gives YOU the upper hand. Isn't it great to have hand? (Speaking of which, maybe it's time to get a manicure now that you have so much of it.)       JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18: Rage may be overwhelming this week when you find out that a younger sib has totally ruined something EXTREMELY important to you. (A JoBro poster, perhaps?) Don’t go postal immediately. Wait until the right moment, then trash his Wii.       FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20: While everyone else around you spoils for a fight this week, just duck for cover and remember to move fast on your feet. Think "American Gladiator," except without the silly helmets and knee pads.